Personal Computing Nightmares with Asher Bond: Ubuntu Fiction Based on a True Story

Ubuntu Circle of Friends

This is Personal Computing with Asher Bond… Where Asher Bond takes computing personally.

Unbelieveably, Netflix is not yet able to provide streaming support… or even unlocked ACCESS for Ubuntu (the most relateable, extensible, and personal computing platform available) due to their arrangements with content providers. How does it work? I’m not sure exactly, but I’m guessing that the Netflix web servers look inside the http headers sent by the customer’s web browser. Compliant, honest web browsers tell the truth about what operating system they run on… but operating systems shouldn’t really matter in a web world, should they? I wonder if there is a good reason why Netflix blocked Ubuntu.

Ahaaaah… Here’s the problem… Linux can’t officially run Silverlight until moonlight is released and Silverlight is required by Netflix. I always wondered what Silverlight did.

About a year ago (roughly Nov 2009) JR Conlin @ Netflix wrote:

…Unfortunately, while there’s no restriction on what platform you can run our API on, there are various restrictions placed upon us by the content providers which limit what platforms we’re able to stream content to… (source: Netflix API Forum)

Don’t believe me? Here’s a screenshot sent in by Evie Ubuntis.

Ubuntu is a free operating system that is freely updated and freely maintained. People can download it, install it, and run it (and other applications inside of it) free of charge… Seems strange that Netflix’ content providers want to pull the plug on Ubuntu. Good luck content providers. Ubuntu, out of the box, is the cat that will continue getting out of the bag. If curiosity kills the cat, it will be happy that cats have nine lives.

I had a support inquiry that lead to this… me writing an imaginary scenario based on my strange imagination:

A Person Computing:

Your new Ubuntu software is worthless and it’s a pain in the )(*@#$&*@# …. I can’t even load Knotfix. No one uses this *&$)(@#$@&#. No wonder no one’s ever heard of it.

A Linux Person Computing:

The web browser detects your operating system and refuses to continue. How does it know? Send me a screenshot of the error.

Time goes by…

A Linux Person Computing:

You have got to be kidding me, you mean they blocked it??? Did Knotfix’s own partner network push Knotfix to block Ubuntu? It can’t be. I must be absurdly missing something. Let me look it up in a Gogul search Mogul. Yeah, according to the Gogul authorities, Ubuntu Persons Computing don’t seem too happy about Knotfix only working with Wondowses and UstabeFreeBSD UX Elite Ultra Wildcat Latest Edition Pro.

A Person Computing:

I hate this Ubuntu stuff… send me back in time when we had Wondowses and everything just worked the same every time… I don’t need you! I can get my fixit-boyfriend who works at the local best-bought geek farm to help me if I use Wondowses. He usually helps me through my auto-updates that I don’t do. Why do you tech guys have to keep updating the efffffing software!?!? If it ain’t broke don’t fix it. Anyway Willis the best-bought Wondowses retailer says Ubuntu has interoperability issues. Ubuntu is stupid! No wonder you geeks have so many issues. You back end people are so uninteroperable.

A Linux Person Computing:

If 100% of the fastest computers in the world run Linux, then why should I have to sell it? Don’t you want better, newer, more interoperable, more extensible, more customizable software? Don’t I have something for everyone? Especially if it’s free?

Person Computing:

If it’s so great, then why haven’t I heard of it. I watch TV all the time. If you have something for everyone, then what the efffff does that mean to a non-technical slave-driver like me? Willis the best-bought Wondowses retailer says that Ubuntu has driver problems. Is that because Ubuntu isn’t smart enough to work with my elusive hardware?

A Linux Person Computing:

You don’t want me to go into why you’ve never heard of it. As a side note, the cloud is a pretty volatile computing platform at the moment. Ubuntu works great to power piles and piles of nebulocity that I use to provide infrastructure, platform, and other software services. Ubuntu can virtualize virtually any OS environment. Linux is good enough for the pros and the amateurs, too bad it’s not good enough for you.

Person Computing:

STFU.

A Linux Person Computing:

Of course, let me go back into to my secure shell where I have a better chance at getting some work done.

Person Computing:

Since, obviously you don’t know much about computers, I think I’m going to reinstall Windowses over this Ubuntu mess. I’ll call you for help when I need someone to help me with the re-installation and malware removals.

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5 comments on “Personal Computing Nightmares with Asher Bond: Ubuntu Fiction Based on a True Story
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