Introducing Scalable Cloud Response Architecture Platform Elasticity Revitalization Services (SCRAPERS)

[c-img src=”” alt=”service-oriented modeling practices aren’t being practiced?” /]

Just when you thought your app was in “the cloud” … someone showed you that you’re still on a VPS. Everything’s in the box…. DBMS, some scripting framework your web guy likes, maybe some plugins and things. You’ve got a lamp server running on there, some python stuff… ruby on rails, ruby off the rails, and your ex cube-farm neighbor Jim’s whole crazy train of UI experiments. MySQL’s SuSQL? Whos’ SQL is that? Want to throw more compute power at the problem? OK! Service-oriented operators are standing by!


System Requirements:

  • Linux…
  • or.. Unix if you prefer
  • not running a non *nix based operating system

Senseless promotional point system options:

  • +10 cloud points if you’re a Debian/Ubuntu user.
  • +20 cloud points if you compile your own kernels.
  • +30 cloud points if you’re from California.
  • +40 cloud points if you’re from The Bay.
  • +100 cloud points if you managed to rack up 100 cloud points just now.

Other Requirements

  • Beta Participation with a tolerance for betavailability.
  • SCRAPERS is a release candidate, so is your app, probably… anyway.

What happens inside the SCRAPER CLOUD…

  1. Normally what happens in the cloud stays in the cloud, but I will tell you anyway…
  2. Your server, VPS, appliance or application (let’s call it an app) is placed into a Scalable Cloud Response Architecture Platform Elasticator (SCRAPE).
  3. Once inside the SCRAPE, your app is replicated and privately analyzed by a service-orientation analyzer engine (SOAE)… well… it’s more like a scraper bike peddled by a service-oriented architect.
  4. Scalability is achieved by dividing your app into persistent data and elastic process service-layers that are provisioned by an Economy of Autoscale Elasticator Engine (EoAEE!!!!!!!).
  5. Your app will continue to get comfortable in the SCRAPE, reaching more efficiency as time goes on.
  6. Once your app has been service-oriented, your app will have learned to autoscale as needed and is ejected into the production cloud environment.
  7. Any SCRAPE’d app is compatible with Amazon Machine Images as well as Ubuntu Enterprise Cloud and Eucalyptus.

Promotional Service Rates for qualified apps (beta)

  • $1.60 per hour per SCRAPE standard (supports most midsized developing and production apps)
  • $3.30 per hour per SCRAPE VIP GOLD (livin’ large for famous apps)
  • additional compute nodes “pedants” can optionally be purchased as needed for $0.025 per hour (according to the optimized load average plan)
  • Network bandwidth and additional IPs: MARKET

Ask about premium pricing here.

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Posted in cloud computing, software development
One comment on “Introducing Scalable Cloud Response Architecture Platform Elasticity Revitalization Services (SCRAPERS)
  1. Scraper says:

    My scraper bike go hard, Don’t need no car!